This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
40s are totally the cure
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
