Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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