I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
