Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
