never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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