When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
