Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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