so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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