if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Randomize
