dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
