after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
