I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ketchup is God's man juice
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
