This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
