batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize