he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
