hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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