he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
