My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize