I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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