Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
