i permit you to call me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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