Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
