Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
