Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
