my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
