week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
