I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
