there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize