just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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