i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
