thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
