didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
