Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I yelled at your uterus for you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
