Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
