Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
