You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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