I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
