My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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