Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
