You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
as a side note pls kill me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
