Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize