why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
