You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Randomize
