He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize