yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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