yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize