Princesses don't give blow jobs
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
