BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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