That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
