have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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