she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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