so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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