i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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