Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
