Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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