Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
