I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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