8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
