She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
smell my finger.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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