when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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