I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
