She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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