I just made out with a guy for $7.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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