i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
