I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
