We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
