I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
